Sigh...can you feel it? The start of a new week. A new sun creeping its way over the clouds, letting itself be seen. Snow is melting, the breeze is growing warmer.
It feels like life 🌱
It's time once again for another Weekly Encouragement post, from one heart to yours.
So, personal confession time:
I've always struggled with feeling insufficient.
The gnawing feeling on the inside that grabs you by your neck and forces you to confront a number of "what if's" you'd much rather ignore.
What if I'm not good enough?
What if I'm not what they're looking for?
What happens if I try and try and try, and nothing comes to pass?
Can you relate?
As I've grown over the years, I learned to rely on "performances" to fill in the gaps I thought I had.
If I could beat all the kids in the spelling bee, I could prove once and for all that I was smart. Smart enough. Enough to never be doubted again.
Enough to make it through the rest of my life.
Talk about sucking the joy out of life.
Obviously, nothing stuck long enough to make me feel safe forever.
No matter what, I would always have to find the next "validating" thing to get me through life and past the verge of mental breakdown and defeat.
As I hit my 20s and entered into my relationship with God, needless to say, this was an issue He fully intended on tackling.
It began with a common verse. One I had spent my entire life hearing.
Chances are, you're no stranger to that one neither.
Take a minute though: sit back and allow yourself a second for that phrase to reverb inside of you.
The Lord is my Shepherd;
I lack nothing.
Now, think back to that thing.
You know the one. The thing you always think you need.
That if you had it, everything would be ok.
If you had it. you could really be successful.
If you had it, you could stop worrying so much all the time.
If you had it, you'd really be loved.
That's such a hurtful way of thinking.
Take another second. Time for some active thinking.
What would your life look like, if you truly believed that "you + God = enough"?
I mean like really, really believed it.
Maybe it's been a while, because you forgot.
Maybe you've never fully believe that.
That's ok. Today is as good a day as any to begin.
He makes all things new.
I want to share with you one of my absolute new favorite verses; it's definitely a lot more on the creative side of psalm writing. It helps drive the message home.
Jesus once said that we were worth more than sparrows. Apparently, we're worth more than lions as well.
There's no money,
no skill set,
no [fill in the blank]
that is the exception when David said "nothing".
You lack nothing.
You are not "less than".
You are not missing something.
Can you believe that?
Insufficiency clouds your mind and blinds your eyes, leading you down a path of doubt and insecurities galore.
The only lack that's going to cause you to fail today is a lack of contentment.
You were created, abundant in the right gifts. Perfect for you and who you are. Necessary by those you're called to lead.
You are more than what you aren't. Block out the voices that tell you otherwise — yours and everyone else's.
Ask God today to give you His eyes.
Big ask, I know. Tough ask.
One that comes with a price.
But in my years of life and struggle, I've learned one thing:
nothing stomps comparison + insecurity like being able to see yourself the way He sees you.
Cut down the distractions that tell you "you can't" and push forwards in the understanding of the truth.
When you fear God, you lack nothing.
You have work to do.
There's a big difference between thinking that you lack + understanding that your gifts might not be the same as others. That's ok. That's what brotherhood / sisterhood is for.
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If you haven't gotten a chance yet, please check out my die-hard book recommendation: The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective
4's (like myself) tend to have ENVY as their root sin, which explains all of the comparing and "lackingness" I tend to feel within myself.
Studying this tool, which has been used for centuries since the times of the early Christian fathers, has really opened my eyes to those feelings I would have preferred to ignore.
The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective is a great place to start for anyone interested in going on this journey of self-awareness, healing, reflection, hope and grace.
(The above is an affiliate link. Should you choose to purchase the book, I will earn a percentage of the sales for having made the recommendation — at no extra cost to you.)
Love you all. Love yourselves. Hold on to the truth.